I want to end with the part of our culture that gives us the least permission to claim: you are allowed to win and be well. Those are not opposites, and the belief that they are has cost us some of our best people.
We know the other story by heart. The brilliant leader who built something extraordinary and didn’t live long enough, or well enough, to enjoy it. The executive whose body finally sent the invoice for fifteen years of swallowed stress. The entrepreneur who got the empire and lost the marriage, the health, and the peace. We’ve been taught to call that “the price of success.” I refuse to. That’s the price of doing success alone and unsupported, and nobody should have to pay for it.
The corner office doesn’t make you immune. About 1 in 5 Black adults experienced a mental health condition in the past year, and far fewer got the help they needed. Climbing higher often means fewer people you can be honest with, not more, which is how some of the most successful people end up the most alone.
So let’s talk about what lasting leadership actually requires. It isn’t willpower, and it isn’t grinding harder. It’s a support system, built on purpose: a therapist who helps you set down the weight that isn’t yours to carry, a coach who helps you carry what is yours more strategically, and a circle of people you can finally tell the truth to. That isn’t indulgence. It’s infrastructure. It’s the difference between a career that consumes you and one that sustains you.
This is the through-line of the whole series. “The therapist or the coach” was never a trick question with one right answer. The answer is whatever keeps you whole while you build. Sometimes that’s one of them. Often it’s both. Either way, it beats going it alone.
Choosing the sustainable path is not free. It costs time, energy, effort, and yes, money, and you have to be willing to spend those on yourself, because investing in yourself should always be the priority rather than the thing you get to once everyone else is handled.
I can speak to the return on that investment personally. When I made my own change, with the help of my coach, the part I never saw coming was that my income would eventually triple. But that isn’t what I lead with. What mattered most was that my mental and physical health, my whole quality of life, improved beyond measure. I’ve watched others find the same thing, though the timing varies. For some, the relief is immediate: deeper rest, a lighter chest, the simple ability to sit still. For others it arrives only after a real season of grief, a mourning of the former self, the old identity, the version of you that was so good at carrying too much. None of it is always easy. That’s exactly the kind of passage a good coach, a good therapist, or both can help you walk through.
So here’s the legacy question I’ll leave you with. When the people coming up behind you look at your life, not your title but your life, what will you be teaching them success costs?
You were never meant to carry it all alone. Choosing not to was never a weakness. It was always the smartest move in the room.
If you’re ready to build a version of success you can actually live in, Let’s talk.
Loren M. Hill, Ph.D., PCC, is a licensed clinical psychologist and certified executive coach, and the founder of Acclivity.
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